http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021288.html

Attractive 20-something man: Do you want me to sleep over tonight?
Attractive 20-something woman: Yes, but only if you put your penis in my vagina.
Attractive 20-something man: You've got yourself a deal.

--36th & 5th

Overheard by: lola

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021287.html

Mother to bouncing daughter: No, you can not look in that window! Do you want to be a Peeping Tom?
Daughter: Let me see! Let me see!

--Redhook, Brooklyn

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021286.html

Guy #1: Can you believe this guy was texting his drug dealer when he hit a guy on a bicycle?
Guy #2: To be fair, that could of happened to any of us.
Guy #1: I don't text that much.

--57th & Lexington

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021285.html

Drunk freshman #1: Dude, work was awful today. Usually I just sit there and drink, today I had to actually do shit. It was bad.
Drunk freshman #2, earnestly: Yo, that sucks dick, man!

--Columbia University

Overheard by: Janine

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021284.html

White volunteer tutor from Princeton: So imagine I'm trying out for the basketball team...
Black student #1: You play basketball?
Black student #2: Do you play tennis?
Black student #1: That's racist!

--Public High School, Queens

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021283.html

20-something hipster girl #1: What's up with that girl you used to live with?
20-something hipster girl #2: Well, it's not like I still talk to her... She won't add me on Facebook.
20-something hipster girl #1: Why not?!
20-something hipster girl #2: She tried to kill me!

--M86 Bus

Overheard by: emily darwin

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021282.html

Girl: So why didn't your dad like Giuliani again?
Boy: I think it was the casual fascism.

--72nd St & West End

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021281.html

Girl #1: Ohmigod! I just saw a cockroach.
Girl #2: Ew! Goddammit, I don't want to have to leave, this pizza is really good!
Girl #1: The roach had wings, so that means it came in from outside and this place isn't necessarily roach-infested.
Girl #2: But it could be.
Girl #1: For the purposes of us enjoying this awesome pizza, it isn't.
Girl #2, as girl #1 continues eating her pizza: And that is what psychologists call "rationalization".

--Pizza Place, 31st St

Overheard by: An A+ in psychology, an F in life

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021280.html

Guy: Yo girl, I gotta song for you.
Girl: Okay. What you got?
Guy, beginning to beat-box: You a five-star bitch, I got a five-star dick...
Girl: Hahahaha.
Guy: Eight inches long and just as thick...
Girl: What!? Hold up!

--W. 110th & Malcom X

Overheard by: The Music Man

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021279.html

Animated blonde salesgirl: If you get the apple pomegranate body butter...
Weary brunette: I only see the display.
Animated blonde salesgirl: We have more in the back. Okay, well, if you get two or more products from the bath line, like this and our shower gel, you get a free bathtub!
Weary brunette: Huh?
(animated blonde salesgirl points to a little plastic bathtub)
Weary brunette: That's... tiny. Like, I love the scent but I'm afraid I don't have any kittens or fetuses to bathe in that tiny tiny tub.

--Sephora, Times Square

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021278.html

Religious woman preaching while holding a bible: Prayer heals everything.
Black man, looking tired after a hard day at work: No, it don't!

--DeKalb Ave

Overheard by: Becky Z-Dub

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021277.html

Very loud woman: He don't wanna marry me, I'm crazy!
Woman sitting next: Ha ha... (then quietly) I know.

--Penn Station

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021276.html

Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Oh my god! I love this floor. It is so nice. And the people. They are so beautiful, every one of them!
Ghetto-fabulous girl #2: Mmm-hmm! And they dress so good--all professional.
Ghetto-fabulous girl #1: Damn! I bet they've got health insurance and shit!

--41st St & Madison

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021275.html

Lady screaming at boyfriend: No! You don't understand I already tried my card that way? It's not working!
Guy walking by to girlfriend: Wow, that sounds like us!

--63rd St

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021274.html

Woman to stylish man walking past: You look like a designer!
Man: Thanks.
Woman: Are you a designer?
Man, about five feet past: Kind of.

--Houston & Ludlow

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021273.html

Older black man: How's you mother?
20-something white man: She died in January.
Older black man: I'm very sorry to hear that.
20-something white man: Thanks. She left me her rent-controlled apartment!

--Montague Street, Brooklyn Heights

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021272.html

Girl: So I don't steal from privately owned places and shit, I steal from like CVS.
Guy: The funniest thing I ever stole was a five-dollar finger vibrator.
Girl, excited: Did it work?
Guy: Yeah, it was the shit! You can borrow it anytime.

--NYU Dorm

Overheard by: Mika

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021271.html

Guy #1: What did you do with her after dinner?
Guy #2: We went back to my place for game of "just the tip."

--4th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Aussieguy

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021270.html

Aspiring street musician: Hey, lady! Wanna buy my CD?
Lady: Nope! That shit's rap and I only like R&B!
Aspiring street musician: Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't be outside with your pussy smelling like that!

--Outside Macy's

Overheard by: Nick Spiller

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021269.html

Dad to seven-year-old: Do you want to see 2012?
Seven-year-old: God, no. Who directed it? Michael Bay?

--Regal Theater, 14th St