why are you here? - today's entry is brought to you by:

Current Music:	Rilo Kiley - Silver Lining
Subject:	today's entry is brought to you by:
Time:	06:26 pm
Current Mood:	hopeful

two words:

1. slop·py /ˈslɒpi/[slop-ee]
–adjective, -pi·er, -pi·est.
(of literature and behavior) Weakly or foolishly sentimental: a sloppy romance

2. spoon·er·ism (spōō'nə-rĭz'əm)
-noun
A transposition of sounds of two or more words, especially a ludicrous one, such as Let me sew you to your sheet for Let me show you to your seat.

The prolonged absence from livejournal right now is making me burst with all these things I want to share, all of them outdated, and most of them already expressed in some other shape or form. Still, here I sit, at my aunt's house, the accursed fan of Granny's overheated, two-year-old motor whirring away, my fingertips tingling with the prospect of a real entry.

Something I've noticed recently: I take for granted that I'm usually on the same page, or wavelength, or whatever, as my friends and my family. Well, my friends more often than my family, but still. And when we're not on the same page, because I guess it's so natural to think that we are, it gives way to miscommunication and misinterpretation. One of the things that I always loved and took for granted, particularly because it had always been so seamless, so automatic, was being able to finish the sentence of somebody else, or not need to finish a thought because we were on the same page. It's another one of those things that seem to go on the increasingly long list of things that we don't notice or really think about until one day it's gone. And then what happens?

But all right, real news? I have a job. Officially now. I am going in tomorrow to sign papers with Human Resources, get a physical, and drug-tested. [Good thing I didn't succumb to peer pressure, eh?] I start work next Monday, on the first of October. The new assistant researcher in a spinal cord injury lab. Not all that close to adolescent or child psychiatry, but whatevs. It's time I reassessed my long-term career goals anyway. But yay, employment!

So the closer I am to actual employment, and wage-earning, the closer my fantasy of moving out of my apartment, and maybe out of Bensonhurst is becoming a reality. Brittany and Victory came down for a fun day in the Hurst last weekend and it was beautiful. (See Carol's photos if you don't believe me.) Lately, I've been feeling so much love for my old neighborhood, and taking walks along the same routes I used to take all the time in elementary school is bringing up a long-forgotten part of my past that I actually don't mind talking about. I don't know if it's the distance now that allows for it, but I've realized that there, indeed, have been very good moments in my childhood. Relatively speaking, I do know that it really hadn't been a picnic, so to speak, but it wasn't all bad either. I'm not sure if I could have been able to see that before now. Before having been away for an extended period of time and then coming back. Before living another kind of life. Sort of.

At the same time, this newfound love also reinforces the need for me to get out of here. At the very least, I need to get out of this apartment and start all over. Make new memories and hack away at all the old, bitter attachments. It'll be great. It'll be hard to find a 3-bedroom to rent in Brooklyn, but it's not impossible. The rent will probably suck ass but at least it'll be split, more or less, between me and my mother. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself because it'll probably be a long time before this can happen. But it's going to happen.

comments: Leave a comment

September 23rd, 2007

Advertisement